As you turn and wave to friends a tear swells up in your eye and a lump gets caught in your throat. The rest of the tribe is relying on you so you must be strong. Shouldering a club you set out on a long journey as your mind wanders back to the events of yesterday that lead to you having to leave the village... The heads of departments of the T-Bone tribe were all clustered around the roaring fire. Light danced across the walls of the cave, casting weird shadows from the clubs, hammers and strange red lizards that the assembled cavemen carried about their person.
The leader rose from his ornate Brontosaurus skin throne and began to speak: "We, the T-bone tribe have faced many dangers before. Through guile, cunning and teamwork we have always managed to overcome these difficulties." (The worst involved the Chieftain's cart unexpectedly rolling down a large hill just before a battle with a rival tribe. As a result he ended up head first in a swamp, killing a small species of newt that was just wondering if the evolution thing was really worth all the effort. But worst of all he became the laughing stock of the neighbourhood. From that day on a law was passed declaring that all wheels should have flat sides carved onto them.) The Leader continued: "However, we are in the middle of our greatest crisis at the moment." He pointed to a square cave painting on the wall that was criss crossed with blue, red and black lines. Nobody was quite sure what it was supposed to be but nevertheless it still looked very impressive.
"From this graph of projected production and consumption of supplies you can see that in a few days we will run out of food. By the end of the week half of the tribe will be dead! I have considered asking other tribes for assistance. However, we still haven't returned the Moonstone's lawn-mower and we aren't talking to the Beechams because they play their radio too loud so it seems unlikely that we will receive any aid."
"Ecshcushe me," the Head of Age Concern spoke, "You shaid that half of the tribesh will be deadsh?"
"Yes, that is quite correct."
"Well, whatsh about the other half?"
"Er, how can I put this? They will become members of the Diners' Club and will enjoy, erm, spe- cial eating privileges. It is all part of my plan to reduce the impact of this catastrophe."
"Sho how doesh one become a member of thish Dinersh Club then?"
"Well, we need the more youthful members of the tribe to continue its great tradition so they will be considered and the less spritely of you will, of course, be the main meal!"
The cave suddenly became full of rather decrepit people all trying their best to look as if they have trouble buying rude magazines. (Actually, most of them do but only because their lumbago gives them gyp when they reach up to the top shelf of the newsagent.)
"Yaarg!!" Just as the words left the old man's mouth (along with his false teeth) he toppled over backwards into a pile of walking sticks. Suddenly a roar of disapproval erupted from the crowd, especially from those who considered themselves among the more mature portion of the congregation. The leader had to shout to make himself heard above the din: "I see no other alternative. Unless another source of nourishment is discovered the ent..." He stopped in mid-sentence and fell face down on his desk, scattering paper clips and felt-tipped pens. The last thing he remembered was the sight of a walking frame gracefully arcing across the sky and striking him squarely on the forehead.
So here you are. You have left the tribe to explore far away lands in an attempt to gather as much food as possible. You couldn't bear to take a bite out of your grandparents. Besides, they always buy you a big present on your birthday. Throughout 150 plus screens there are several species of animal that, in some way or another, make a decent meal. Using your trusty club you must smack the little rascals over the head and stuff them into your bag for consumption at a later date. Sounds simple, eh? Not on your nelly.
For a start not all the creatures that you encounter are stupid and slow. Some spit fireballs, others throw rocks. The more intelligent of them home in on your position while others wait in caves for you to walk by before attacking. On top of this there are puzzles that must be solved before you can proceed.
At the end of each level awaits a large guardian. Each has different strong and weak spots. To progress into the lands you will have to defeat them in mortal combat.
How to run this game on modern Windows PC?
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